Blog 16

Ahhh yes my sixteenth blog quite an accomplishment. I can't believe I have come so far from those early days and my first fledglinged blog. It has been a journey that not even the best novelist could have captured, not even the best poet could have tried to ryhm with. No, not even me myself could have pictured myself posting this many blogs.

wow.

Do you think that I can make it to 32? I sure hope so. But as they say in Alaska- only time will tell.

Moab

Due to my vacation time away from work and Tyler's timely dismissal from his work we have made plans to take a trip to Moab, Utah. We arrived last night after a long drive and have spent all of today driving, hiking and sightseeing the many very beautiful sights in Arches National Park. I was glad to bring along Tyler who basically served as my tour guide. I had been here before but I think he knows almost everything there is to know about this place. We went to see the balanced rock first, which is this huge rock that looks as if its balancing upon a thin spire. When we first stepped out of the vehicle it was quite windy and it remained windy all day. And all of the sand blowing around didn't help matters much. Next we went to delicate arch which I must say is the most stunning arch around. Of course there was a bit of hike to get there which was actually kinda fun. It has been very windy all day and when we got to the top of the ridge is was even difficult to stand up straight but it was still fun. It took us about two hours to hike up and down delicate arch. After that we drove some more and went to landscape arch which is another arch that is just very very long across. We weren't allowed to hike right up under it like you can with other arches because it is in danger of collapsing but we did see a hot girl along the hike that Tyler noticed had a hickey. But anyways after the park we came back into town and traversed main street looking at the tourist shops. I couldn't believe some of the rocks and fossilized things they have for sale. But all I ended up with was a Moab t-shirt. Now we are back at Tyler's cousins house where we are staying until tomorrow and it is my turn to take a shower.

What Do You Think?

Do you think that when you are eating a bowl of cereal that you subconciously notice that your cereal to milk ratio is out of balance so does your mind subconciously try to equalize the ratio or do you prefer a 2:1 milk to cereal ratio or vice versa? I'm eating cereal right now and this is what I'm wondering.

Last Night

Yeah last night was fun...and the girl was hot too. Thats about all I think I should say about that.


Oh yeah and I got a red pin! No, Rob did not offer me 300 million dollars and I'm still the same person I used to be.

A Poem

Well it has been a pretty normal day and I dont have much to blog about but I am so bored that I am still blogging anyways.

I think this would be a good time to share my poem with you. It still has no title I just call it a poem or a long poem. And some of the longer lines cut off in the wrong place. It is ridiculously long and always getting longer as new thoughts and ideas come to mind. It has very many highs and lows and reading it is like riding a roller coaster of emotions- at least for me. It is quite epic in its length and in the time it took to write it and I guess the my goal is to point out the many ironic situations in life and how humans in nature cope-or lack thereof with the situations that life brings. It is still somewhat scattered and disorganized and I know the punctuation needs worked on. I will continue to revise and edit such things whenever I feel like getting around to it. But the poem is widely open to interpretation. You may recognize small portions of the poem that are derived from certain song lyrics. Please forgive me if you think I have plagerized such material. Songs and music are a great source of inspiration in my life and it is always suprising how much meaning a song lyric can have especially when you know such artists were heavily under the influence of hallucinages and drugs :) I have tried to limit my exact phrasing to any song lyrics and 99% of it in all honesty are from my own feelings and thoughts. Feel free to write comments and suggestions.

When do we know

when to hold to the past,

or turn around and let it go?

Can two lives so far apart..

Ever come together to form one perfect heart?

Do we happen to tread into another’s world,

meaning to stayonly to close the door and walk away..

When do we realize the purpose we choose..

Do we ever understand the moments we lose?

If in the middle of our lives so parallel..

Do we reach an intersect to stop and tell?

Can we ever come to understand,

the withering effects of ageless time..

When all we can do is drown in soundless mime?

Maybe we are just living with our eyes half open

thinking of all those words left unspoken,

too bent too broken.

The power of love defies any.

The only thing we can never betray.

A cure and a curse for so many

We lust to live and love to lust

We love to live and live to love

Is there anything more unjust..?

Its one of those things you have to feel to be true.

As we learn to live and live to learn

we play with the fire just to see how we burn.

As we begin to burn the images of our past
Sometimes we play with fire just to see how long we will last.
The world can turn us and burn us with desire
Hopefully we can all wake up from our nightmare
And turn it into dreams that we can all bare.

But some things just can't be erased by flame

It all ends up as before and all just the same.

We always come and we always go
but when the rain finally washes us clean then we will know
We always try to make nothing into something that’s so much more
Sometimes it never goes the way we intend,

just makes it worse than before.

Sometimes to care is just not worth the pain

and to try and try makes things too insane
Some find all the right in the wrong and all the wrong in the right

sometimes that’s just easier than dealing with the pain of the fight
Sometimes we already know the end
And everything becomes too hard to defend
Sometimes we never know just where to go
Sometimes we work too hard just for the show
And sometimes we fly too high and hover too low.
Maybe we inhibit our own ability to grow
Maybe we move through life too fast and stop too slow
And sometimes the world hurts us much more than we know.

We never blame ourselves for wanting more,

for all these things we couldn’t ignore

the things that we’ve loved the things that we’ve lost
We try to be happy no matter the cost

To the place I thought I knew, I will never go

That I always wanted to, yet I will never know

And we drown in the tears we shed..

we ride on the hopes of promises we are fed.

Confusion never sleeps hearts and minds will never agree..

cursed missed opportunities they make traitors of us all

we now know what we could never see.
Have you ever wonder about all this irony?

Its so painful, something that’s so close and still so far out of reach

Its something so deceiving when you stop believing..

Its the nature of humans as we practice, as we preach

It takes so long to learn and so quickly we forget..

if only life’s moments of perfectioncould last just a bit.

The space between is where everything stalls

it is the space between normalism and perfectionism man always falls

the space between is the valley of the dead

it is all that we fear and all that we dread

sooner or later we cross the line of nevermore
But we always hope for so much more
The space between haunted by indecision,
A space full of deceiving perception.

the space between

a space full of nothingness so many people have seen
In this space its man who forgets to care
Your neither here nor there,
Both sides you cannot share.

When you want it all sometimes you have to sacrifice it all..

sometimes you leave nothing to catch you if you fall

Maybe forgiveness was never lost at all..
Maybe redemption is found right where we left it.

We don’t want to learn more than we need to forget
And the dark planet's still spinning
In a race where no one wins and no one is winning
When does our own great creations..

Begin to corrupt our own inspired imaginations?
How many lies are we conceiving
At what point does it shatter our ability of believing?

And we keep playing the same old game of shame..
Everyone wants to pick but no one will choose
Everyone wants to play but no one wants to loose.

We take more than we get

paying anything to chance another roll of the dice

gambling another person another life..

another fame just the same old game

How do we read the actions of others..

What does our actions say to another’s?

Does one ever stand up and shine...

Anyone to break a defining line?

So many walk the line paying the ultimate fine

giving in or giving up never did so many think to lineup

Everybody's had to fight to be free..

there is no pretending tomorrow is the same

somethings are just too dark to see.

There's no time to think about the starting or the end

we'll find out I’m sure just how much we are worth to spend

Because after all regret is the most expensive thing
Just being here is worth anything.
And If there’s only one choice to make..

do we ever give, or do we always take?
When we die what do we leave?
Before we die what do we achieve?

And If tomorrow was never a day..

What would we do,

and how would we say it all today?

-a poem by me :)

The Beauty of This World

Well Tyler has done me a favor by posting my blog link on his blog so I believe I feel compelled to return the favor and please take a moment out of your life to experience the Tyler experience. http://www.studmuffin58.blogspot.com/ He is quite a good blogger and his metaphors are subliminal. We are good friends and we partake of the same tree. Dont ask me what that means..

So today I came one step closer to the conclusion of my great dillema. I have informed my boss that I have some decisions to make in the near soon future. I told him I have been pushed to get back to the golf course and I purposely added that I would be making more money over there :) I also told him that me and Tyler were really thinking about moving and that I may just find a job down there. He took it a lot better than I thought he would, which just means I'm still alive. Basically I said I probably wont be sticking around for as long as he thought I would, which was the point that I needed to get across. And yet I am kinda screwing them over but its their own fault they dont have enough people hired to cover their own behinds. It should written in the constitution that a man or women should be able to move freely from job to job. Now whatever happens just happens and I dont have as much stress about it. Because stress really is a bad thing it can cause all sorts of problems in the blood vessels and in the brain and disrupts hormones and bathroom cycles and it just makes you well...stressed.

The last thing I wanted to talk to you about is my glasses. They weren't really the ones I wanted to pick out but the ones I wanted didnt' look so well on my face. You see I wanted some unique looking glasses because I would like to be unique in as many ways as possible, just short of going emo and dressing like death warmed over.... The uniqueness of every individual and every place and every time and every object is the beauty of this world everything becomes something to look forward to and everything can sorta mesh together like one big giant tie die shirt. Peace. And they are green. Thats all...

Comment Depression

Well its Wednesday and its my day off. So what am I going to do today? Well I might drive down to Provo just because I can, but I have an eye doctor appointment at 3:15. I'm going to be going to check out the glasses selection, which sounds quite boring but its actually sorta fun. You see a certain pair of glasses can say a lot about an individual. Some glasses say "Man I am a geek" so please ask me any question about astronomy. Other glasses say " Yeah, I am a bookwork" so I know all about Shakespeare. Other glasses may just say "DUUDDEEE..." and they're like yeaahhhhhh I'm chill. So it is important to select the right type of glasses because I dont want something getting confused and thinking I enjoy warm yogurt and play cricket in the winter. I have worn contacts for a long time and I much rather prefer them but sometimes my contacts are horrible and I occasionally get stuck without a backup pair so I would like to have a pair of emergency glasses. It will aslo cut down on my usage of contacts which cost quite a bit to order.

So I am a little deppressed I have yet to accumulate any comments and my friend Tyler has now gotten a total of four(although they are all from people who are friends with him). Not that we are in any type of competitition but it is looking quite bleak for me. I do not know if anyone reads this but it would be nice to have comments every once in a while. Now I dont want sudden pity comments either they just make the situation worse so leave me good genuine comments. And I will surely comment you back and then we can have fun!

Another Week Down

I have Sunday’s off from work thank goodness. I am always really happy to get work off but then I always struggle trying to find out what to do on a day off. Honestly, all I feel like doing is being lazy.
The only thing more lazy than a Sunday is a Lazy Sunday. Yeah, its one of those Sundays. If I were a tea sippin lad I would be sippin tea in Britain reading the funnies. But I’m in Heber sitting on a couch writing a blog on my laptop, and I don’t drink tea.
But if it’s Sunday that means you can find me at Tyler’s house later in the day. It’s basically ritual by now. I already hauled off my ps3 to his house last night and I will partake of Tyler’s dad’s- Paul is his name- great cooking, and the families fat jokes of mostly Chelsea., although she doesn‘t seem to mind and almost seems to think it’s a form of showing love -Don‘t ask me?. Then after everything is cleared we will engage in a great battle of Catan. Of course eating a big dinner is a big draw to me and it helps that the cooking is great too. I am always interested to see what kind of chicken Paul will come up with next because its almost always chicken. But lately he has been mixing it up a little bit which is good too.
March Maddness is definitely playing out and its quite maddening. Me, Tyler and Nathan have set up a competition to see who can get the most games picked correctly and it looks as if I’m going to be out 20 bucks. Although I started off quite strong it now seems that my picks are going downhill and one of my final four teams- Texas- have been knocked out which is a downer. As for my dilemma on my last March Madness post, well that hasn’t really played out at all so I will keep you posted-literally J
That is about all I have for today. Another week down and its back to another work week. How exciting.

Life will go on

No...I didn't get a red pin..but I did post two posts in one day.

:)

Apparantly jogging is quite popular.

Well, it may be pronounced "yogging"

I believe the j can be pronounced as a soft y sound

I guess people just get up and go jogging for extended periods of time.

Apparantly its quite fun.

never go down hills that no one else seems to be going down

Yeah so I went snowboarding for the first time in like 2 years at least - like 800 days or something and it was at night, and the snow was really really bad..Uh huh sounds like a recipe for disaster huh? Not really it was great.

A co-worker from work haha that was a little repetitive but yeah he's been asking me to go night snowboarding with him for a while and I was like all right sure. I used to snowboard a lot and I've always enjoyed it and I had never been at night so what the heck. Try new things in life right? I was quite nervous to begin with I really didn't know how I was going to handle the whole snowboarding part because I hadn't done it in so long so I was hoping I wouldn't make a fool out of myself because I already knew that he was a pretty good snowboarder. I didn't want to look dumb and make him wait for me to get down every run. Which ended up happening anyways but it was all good. So its about 6 when we get there and the sun is still up and everything is bright which was good I got to see what the runs looked like and stuff. I got onto and off of the lift no problem I was feeling quite good about the situation.

I didnt' have any major problems on the first run I didn't even fall once! I was so proud it was a breeze but the snow was very very hard which makes it very very fast and it was almost like ice and it was only going to get worse...Eric beat me down the hill pretty easily but hey I did pretty good. I needed to work on my turning a bit more but it's hard to practice in poor snow conditions. I am very comfortable on heel side but toe side needs a little work me thinks lol. So yeah mostly I just snowplowed into my turns and then would shoot off strait until I had to snowplow into another turn. But oh well I was justhappy I could keep my balance and everything. One time I got off the lift and went to strap my other boot in and by the time I got done Eric was gone so I was like well okay all the runs end up at the same place anyways so I took off and went over into some weird obscure trail that no one was going on...Yeah bad idea -hence the name. There were a lot of moguls and unmarked rocks coming up out of the ground and trees everywhere I felt like I was in the middle of nowhere it took me like 15 minutes to get through it all but I only bit it bad once, I thought I was going to fall backwards but I over corrected and ended up doing a faceplant into the snow...which felt more like concrete at that point. I'm surprised I didn't break my nose or break an eyelash! It wouldn't have been so bad if I would of had a foot of powder to fall into. We did about 10 or 12 runs before we called it quits and overall it was quite a fun experience and I was quite pleased that I hadn't forgotten all about how to snowboard. Too bad its like the last week of the season, oh well I guess I can go once a year at the end lol.

Yep. That was my night boarding adventure day.

March Madness

Hello my fellow blogger readers (i dont think there are any but hello anyways) Yeah need I tell you that I didn't get a red pin. Nope...things continue on as normal. But maybe thats a good thing maybe I'm just not meant to get one you know? What if I got one and it totally changed my life in a way that I wouldn't want it to. Like maybe I got it and Rob (the bowling alley guy) was like yay you win 300 million dollars and I then I went and spent it all on clothes and food and got mugged and got really fat with all the food I got and my 150 million dollars worth of clothes wouldn't fit me anymore because I was so fat and I would just feel so miserable and wish that red pins were never invented and painted. So yeah..that justifies it all.

Anyways I have a dilemma. Its almost golfing season and I have been pressured to go back to the golf course and work. I will get a raise, I'm not sure how much but I think I can talk myself into at least a 1 or 2 dollar raise which would be great. That would be a bigger raise than I can hope for at Spin Cafe right now...Plus working at the golf course is quite a bit more laid back than at Spin. So basically less work for more money who doesn't like that? Plus I would get a regular 5 day working week again which would be great because working 6 days a week really does suck even with overtime pay. Plus I know the people at the golf course a lot better and we get along great. Except for that one guy but he just sucks anyways. But the problem is Spin is very short on workers and they have ambitious plans to open on Sundays and guess who they need to work those days? Yeah, they're really banking on the employees they currently have to put out even more and it seems as if they are planning on me working there for the rest of my life. And that doesn't sit very well with me but I would feel quite guilty if I quit on them and left them really shorthanded because it would do damage to every person that works there because we all have to depend on each other to get things done. So the best I could do is give them advanced warning of my departure but how do I give an advanced warning when I dont know for sure myself? They've hired other guys but for one reason or another they ended up being fired. It blows...But there is another problem, me and Tyler are planning to be moving to orem sometime around...well I dont know because its always been like "right around the corner" but it never really is. So in that case I would have to notify Spin that I will be moving my butt to orem and I won't be able to come up here and work everyday. Essentially I would quit, but in a nicer way than saying see ya I'm going to the golf course. But if I'm in orem I might not want to drive up to the golf course to work either and I am getting a bit sick of working in restraunts so now I would be at the task of trying to find a job in orem. Is this all very confusing yet? Yeah...maybe I'm just stressing about it a little to much (my last post on stress comes to mind) Yes, it definitely is March Madness time and all we can do is wait and see how it plays out. Haha..

Hakuna Mutata

I hope I get a red pin today. Its been a long time. Sorta depressing. Its making my wallet lighter too. Makes me feel no good. Arrgghhh the fates they hate. HATE MEEEEEEEE TODAYYYY HATE ME TOMORROW...yeah thats what they do them and their stupid little scissors slicing away at those strings or whatever...Well the ball is in my court and I'm about to shoot a layup or dunk it maybe I will shoot a three, yeah yeah. My aunt is trying to build a puzzle and all the peices are shaped the same and they're like half an inch big and she's freaking out and talking really loud. I think it qualifies as yelling. I want to tell her to shut up but that wouldn't be very nice :) Why do people cause themselves stress like that? Can you imagine what the world would be like without stress. There would be no headaches no worries. Hakuna Mutata. No 3 witches of fate. Yay. I guess if the world was like that it would be just like heaven and what would be the point in the world being just like heaven becuase when we die we might not want to go to a better place. Well now that I have no worries I'm going to go eat I hope we can eat in heaven and maybe they will have Red Pin night and then I could win free games everytime...Now I feel better.

Eating a bigmac is not as hard as it was a couple years ago..

Really it isn't. If you don't believe me go eat a bigmac then wait a few years and eat another one..then compare. I think my dog just barked. Anyways guess what? It's my day off how awesome is that. No i'm not really doing anything exciting I'm just waiting for Tyler to get off work and I think my good friend Dylon might be coming up but I dont know when. Its kinda one of those peaceful easy feelin kind of days where you just feel like taking it easy and mellowing out and dropping your blood pressure so that your veins dont combust and you dont scare your heart into a mini heart attack which will cause it to skip at least one beat which reminds you of its eventual failure. No. We dont want that. Of course eating a bigmac probably doesn't help the heart either. I should've eaten cheerios. Yeah thats about all I have to say today...

Watching the Snow Melt Makes Me Wonder...

Well my laptop is now recharged and ready to go. Today was a pretty normal day I got up-well the alarm woke me up just in time to make it to work at 8:30 and I worked until around 5. Work has been going good but it could be better... Even though it's just the beginning of March the little snow that is left on the ground is beginning to disappear rather quickly and that can only mean one thing...its almost spring/summer.
And with summer comes many looming questions such as when, where or if me and Tyler are going to be moving out, if I am going to be going back to the golf course to work or I could just stay where I'm at or if I moved away I would most likely need to get a completely new job which might not be that bad of a thing. Also whether or not I'm going to try and enroll in college yet???? And oh yeah, whether or not Global Warming really is happening? Sounds like a big messy ball of confusion that I do not really feel like sorting out sometimes. Therefore I do not know the answers to any of these, I think its just kind of the way I live my life. I only think about a minute ahead at a time. Sometimes thats a good thing and sometimes its not but thats how it is. In any case I'm sure I will keep you posted on up to the minute breaking news on such quizzical questions. In the meantime I'm hungry..

Liberating and settling the world and ice cream cake...

Hello. Today has been a good day. Another Sunday down in the casa of the Larsen family surrounded by good food, friends and plenty of games to keep a horse busy. Here I sit in quite a comfy recliner typing on my brand new laptop watching Tyler play my brand new PS3 Tiger Woods golfing game. Earlier we were blasting up the Germans in WWII Call of Duty, and we just got done finishing a long game of Settlers of Catan - I lost...but not by too much.. (Hence part of my title) My laptop is pretty great its a HP dv9000, whatever that means I dont know but I like it and even though I paid a small fortune for it I am very glad I have one. Its been quite a dream to fulfill for me to be able to purchase a laptop. Theres nothing like it from the very soft flat keys that make small tap tapping sounds to the huge 17 inch screen. Its a beauty and I hope it serves me well. I have just recieved a pop up stating my batter has 5% power left so I need to hurry and get off.