Well it's time to say goodbye to the year 2007 and time to start saying hello to 2008.
Throughout the year I have come to rely on this little computer screen and keyboard to write down my thoughts, my feelings, my beliefs, and my desires. This little website in a way has become something of a perfect friend, it will never judge me for what I say to it, it will never laugh at how dumb I sound, it will never criticize me for the errors I have made, and it always will listen, because well basically it has to :) Like I said in my first ever blog, it is "like my own personal broadcast dish to the world"....Did I just use quotation marks on my own quote...are you supposed to do that? Oh well.
I have been here blogging for one full year now...(actually it will be a full year on the 23 of January but keeping with the end of the year theme this works lol) I have officially written 77 blogs for the year (actually 78, I drafted an enormous blog on the fact that if insects really wanted to take over humans, and the world, they really could. But after re reading it I decided no one would even care about such a blog haha so I deleted it) that amounts to 1 blog every 4.4 days and exactly 34,309 words- in case anyone was wondering besides me. Well thats pretty good if you ask me. Far better than what I expected from myself.
It is true that this collection of blogs have not fully expressed what this year has been about for me, it would take far much more than I am willing to write. Usually I just end up blabbing about anything and everything really. From my very first blog, appropriately titled The First One where it all started. To my thoughts on how easy it is to eat a big mac, to my frustrations with the 3 different jobs I have had, to my sudden intrest in joining the air force, to my obsession with trying to get a red pin in bowling, to my feeble attempts at poetry, and story writing, to my musings on such life topics as change, love, and consequences.
I have done quite a few things I regret (although I learned so much from them that its hard to regret them) I can truly say I have met a few people that have actually changed my life, some of them in more ways than they probably even know. I have met people that are really an inspiration to me, once again probably in ways they don't even recogize.
I have learned lessons that I should have learned a long time ago, I have learned things about me that I've never known before. I tried writing some paragraphs on what I have learned this year and it actually resembled a very long boring textbook or something so I'm going to settle for a list (suprise)
-I have learned that quite simply, it is impossible for me to ever be comfortable if I know that something is not going right in my life.
-Even more, it is almost just as impossible for me to be content knowing that others around me are having things go wrong in their own lives. Especially if I can see that its from their own mistakes...It will literally drive me crazy if I am not able to show them why and how such things are happening to them.
- I've learned that I tend to think WAY beneath the surface of just about everything that happens (some of my blogs are evidence of that) but I've learned that thats not really a bad thing, actually its much better than thinking on the surface, yes?
-I've learned that a little bit of humor can go a long way.
-I've learned that I use commas way too much...like in the last sentence...plus I use periods a lot...?
- I've learned that sometimes I come off as too overbearing and a little too over reactive, maybe intense? I guess is the right word..
- I've learned to accept that fact that unlike most people, I've never had the ideal family and the great relationships you can have with that. Because of this in a way I've tried to substitute my friends in place of my family. This results in me valuing my relationships with people more than possibly anything ever, they really are so fragile and I think everyone including me takes them for granted way too much. It is an essential thing to be able to have connections with other people in life. It is so important to be able to have the best friends you can get. And of course a family...for those of you lucky enough to have the ideal family.
- I've learned that I never REALLY give up on anything unless it is absolutely made clear to me that I should. It is very difficult for me to quit on something unless I have tried every possible way to make it work.
- I've learned to be able to take a deep breath and give things time to play themselves out
- I've learned that I seem to be loyal to things..almost to a fault
- I've learned that I usually don't make the first impression that I hope to make
- I've learned how amazing the simple things in life can be
- I've learned that second chances can turn out to be the best things ever.
- I've learned how to drive the speed limit, and that you don't actually get tickets for doing that - I've learned to appreciate my religion much more than I ever have before
- I've learned that being honest is actually the easiest thing to do in the end
- I've learned how pure happiness can be so simple
Well. It has been a long crazy year. It feels like this year has stretched on and on forever and in a way I'm happy to have it end. There were many highs and many lows. I may have possibly cried more than I ever have in my life over a million different things, but I may have possibly laughed more than ever before. If I could summarize the year with one word it would be change. This really has been a huge year of change for me. If I was to make a graph of all the changes I have made, and all of the different feelings I have felt it would look like some crazy stock market graph.
Anyways I should thank the small amount of readers that I do have for reading my rather boring, often way too long, and somewhat philosophical blogs. But even if no one ever read my blogs I guess I would still blog because I like to be able to write things down and maybe someday someone will read them and maybe actually like them and then maybe actually like me :)
In the end I've learned to understand how simple life can be, how easy things can be accomplished, but how hard everything can be made to seem. I've learned how fragile and precious the very basic things in life are. How important it is to hold on to what we are all given, and how wonderful it can be if we work to turn what we have into something so much more. We are given the world, and its so full of oppurtunities hopefully we can make the most of it.
There is a good quote that I've heard many times,
"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole lives would change."
- a Buddha quote
It's kindof girly lol.
But it's true.
Goodbye until next year!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
when all your love is gone who will save me from all i'm up against in this world
Hello blog.
Christmas is over it was pretty great. My "big" present was a new set of golf clubs which makes me laugh because if my dad had ever seen me play golf before he wouldn't have bothered to get me any golf clubs but oh well lol. My little brother got some matching ones too they are cool but trying to picture my brother golfing makes me laugh as well lol.
I got my grandma one of those miniature white Christus statues I thought it was a really good gift for her and she was really really happy about it she said she had been wanting one forever so that made me happy.
I was mostly excited about the guitars I got my little brother and sister. My sister was really excited and shows a lot of interest in learning. But I knew she would because she is always like that. My brother kind of seems to not really care so much which makes me sad...Hopefully he will be more interested sometime in the future. In the meantime I've been stealing his guitar to learn how to play myself. All I have is a dvd that shows how to practice and stuff but its fun. And I've decided that I pretty much HAVE to get my own sometime soon so that will be fun to.
So I think I'm going to be picking up a second job. I dont know what the actual job title is called but its an office job dealing with clients who own timeshares or rent out from this resort called Raintree Resorts it is right across from The Canyons, but the department I would work in is called the Miners Club. I will work for a guy I met in my ward he is really cool but I think he's going crazy because he doesn't have an assistant so I guess I'll just be his assistant. The Raintree is even nicer than the Marriott timeshares I got to see a model showroom it was pretty nice. They are basically like houses, I would be happy to live in one lol. The pay is better than what I make at the Marriott too.
From the sound of it, this job sounds more like a full time job than a part time job. Hopefully I won't get burned out working both jobs. They aren't really phsyical labor like road construction was they're just mostly mental I guess lol hopefully I dont go mental though haha :) But I really would like the extra money, and hopefully I can save up a bit for college because that would be nice for sure.
Mostly I'm just sick of coming home from work and having the whole day off. It's really boring to tell you the truth and it doesn't help that I dont have a life and have no one to hang out with so I guess I might as well be doing something to earn money for now. Plus it's nice to be busy it keeps your mind off of other things.
Well thats pretty much it for now...
BYE!
Christmas is over it was pretty great. My "big" present was a new set of golf clubs which makes me laugh because if my dad had ever seen me play golf before he wouldn't have bothered to get me any golf clubs but oh well lol. My little brother got some matching ones too they are cool but trying to picture my brother golfing makes me laugh as well lol.
I got my grandma one of those miniature white Christus statues I thought it was a really good gift for her and she was really really happy about it she said she had been wanting one forever so that made me happy.
I was mostly excited about the guitars I got my little brother and sister. My sister was really excited and shows a lot of interest in learning. But I knew she would because she is always like that. My brother kind of seems to not really care so much which makes me sad...Hopefully he will be more interested sometime in the future. In the meantime I've been stealing his guitar to learn how to play myself. All I have is a dvd that shows how to practice and stuff but its fun. And I've decided that I pretty much HAVE to get my own sometime soon so that will be fun to.
So I think I'm going to be picking up a second job. I dont know what the actual job title is called but its an office job dealing with clients who own timeshares or rent out from this resort called Raintree Resorts it is right across from The Canyons, but the department I would work in is called the Miners Club. I will work for a guy I met in my ward he is really cool but I think he's going crazy because he doesn't have an assistant so I guess I'll just be his assistant. The Raintree is even nicer than the Marriott timeshares I got to see a model showroom it was pretty nice. They are basically like houses, I would be happy to live in one lol. The pay is better than what I make at the Marriott too.
From the sound of it, this job sounds more like a full time job than a part time job. Hopefully I won't get burned out working both jobs. They aren't really phsyical labor like road construction was they're just mostly mental I guess lol hopefully I dont go mental though haha :) But I really would like the extra money, and hopefully I can save up a bit for college because that would be nice for sure.
Mostly I'm just sick of coming home from work and having the whole day off. It's really boring to tell you the truth and it doesn't help that I dont have a life and have no one to hang out with so I guess I might as well be doing something to earn money for now. Plus it's nice to be busy it keeps your mind off of other things.
Well thats pretty much it for now...
BYE!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
can you hide eggs around the room so they can have an egg hunt on their wedding night??
Here at the Marriott Hotel we often encounter many many different types of people. Some of them are white and some of them are black. Some of them are tall and one of them was actually shorter than his luggage lol. Some of them have crazy accents from who knows where and some of them talk worse than the cowboys from Heber. Some of them are rich and spoiled, others are smart, but a lot of people are just plain dumb. :)
We have compiled a notebook of some of the most ridiculous things guests have said to us. I would like to share it with you.
- (After just walking down the stairs to lobby) "Where are the stairs?"
- "Do they sell gas here on Sundays?"
- Guest: "Do you have any rooms available?"
Chris: "no I'm sorry, we're sold out."
Guest: "Sold out?"
Chris: "Sold out."
Guest: "Sold out?"
Chris:"Sold out."
Guest:"Sold out?"
Chris: "SOLD OUT!"
-Guest: "Our DVD player is not playing any sound."
Whitney: "is your TV on channel 00?"
Guest: "Oh, the TV has to be on also?"
-Guest: "How do I get here from Main Street?"
Eric: "The city bus is available until 10:30 PM."
Guest: "Do I have to make a reservation?"
-Guest: "When will the next paper come out?"
Jen: "Tomorrow morning, sir."
Guest: "Is that a Sunday paper?"
Jen: "No sir, tomorrow is Saturday."
Guest: "Right, but will it be a Sunday paper?"
-Guest: "Hi, I need someone to make the pull out beds...I didn't realize that they weren't already made."
Eric: "I'm sorry ma'm we don't do that here"
Guest: "Well...um...how do we make them then?"
Eric: "Um...with the sheets."
Guest: "The sheets? Well where are they?"
Guest: "My son is getting married and staying here with his bride..."
Jen: "Congrats!"
Guest: " Since it will be Easter, would you be willing to hide some chocolate easter eggs around the room so they can have an easter egg hunt on their wedding night?"
Guest: "Do you have wireless internet?" "Where is it because I cannot SEE it?"
Guest: "Is deer valley outdoors?"
Guest: "Can you tell me what time the rides at the resort open tomorrow?"
Jake: "They open at noon"
Guest: "What time at noon?"
Jake: What? (to make sure he heard right)
Guest: "What time at noon?"
Jake: "They open at 12 which is noon"
Guest: "Ok, Thank you."
Guest calling Brittany for a room request:
"We are going to be coming out there, and we really need an accessible room because my husband is blind. Also, could it be a room with a pool view because he won't be able to do any of the activitites with us."
Guest: "So how much does the internet cost?"
Stephany: "Sir, its' complimentary"
Guest: "Ok, so how much dos it cost?"
Date 7/24/07
Guest: "Is it snowing there now?"
Jen: "It is 90 degrees here now"
Guest: "But is it snowing?"
Guest: "I heard that there are no air conditioners in Utah, is that right?"
Guest: "When do you close?"
Becca: "We don't, we are open year around!"
Guest: "So who closes the skiing?"
Becca: "The resorts do!"
Guest: "So you guys are open year around?"
Becca: "yes!"
Guest: "So how much is parking there?"
Steph: "You get 2 free parking passes."
Guest: "So how much is parking?"
Thats all I have for now. They are so stupid that they are hilarious haha! Shoot...you really wouldn't believe some of the people we deal with. I'm sortof glad I work the night usually nothing crazy happens except the occasional drunk person lol. Anyways thats it.
We have compiled a notebook of some of the most ridiculous things guests have said to us. I would like to share it with you.
- (After just walking down the stairs to lobby) "Where are the stairs?"
- "Do they sell gas here on Sundays?"
- Guest: "Do you have any rooms available?"
Chris: "no I'm sorry, we're sold out."
Guest: "Sold out?"
Chris: "Sold out."
Guest: "Sold out?"
Chris:"Sold out."
Guest:"Sold out?"
Chris: "SOLD OUT!"
-Guest: "Our DVD player is not playing any sound."
Whitney: "is your TV on channel 00?"
Guest: "Oh, the TV has to be on also?"
-Guest: "How do I get here from Main Street?"
Eric: "The city bus is available until 10:30 PM."
Guest: "Do I have to make a reservation?"
-Guest: "When will the next paper come out?"
Jen: "Tomorrow morning, sir."
Guest: "Is that a Sunday paper?"
Jen: "No sir, tomorrow is Saturday."
Guest: "Right, but will it be a Sunday paper?"
-Guest: "Hi, I need someone to make the pull out beds...I didn't realize that they weren't already made."
Eric: "I'm sorry ma'm we don't do that here"
Guest: "Well...um...how do we make them then?"
Eric: "Um...with the sheets."
Guest: "The sheets? Well where are they?"
Guest: "My son is getting married and staying here with his bride..."
Jen: "Congrats!"
Guest: " Since it will be Easter, would you be willing to hide some chocolate easter eggs around the room so they can have an easter egg hunt on their wedding night?"
Guest: "Do you have wireless internet?" "Where is it because I cannot SEE it?"
Guest: "Is deer valley outdoors?"
Guest: "Can you tell me what time the rides at the resort open tomorrow?"
Jake: "They open at noon"
Guest: "What time at noon?"
Jake: What? (to make sure he heard right)
Guest: "What time at noon?"
Jake: "They open at 12 which is noon"
Guest: "Ok, Thank you."
Guest calling Brittany for a room request:
"We are going to be coming out there, and we really need an accessible room because my husband is blind. Also, could it be a room with a pool view because he won't be able to do any of the activitites with us."
Guest: "So how much does the internet cost?"
Stephany: "Sir, its' complimentary"
Guest: "Ok, so how much dos it cost?"
Date 7/24/07
Guest: "Is it snowing there now?"
Jen: "It is 90 degrees here now"
Guest: "But is it snowing?"
Guest: "I heard that there are no air conditioners in Utah, is that right?"
Guest: "When do you close?"
Becca: "We don't, we are open year around!"
Guest: "So who closes the skiing?"
Becca: "The resorts do!"
Guest: "So you guys are open year around?"
Becca: "yes!"
Guest: "So how much is parking there?"
Steph: "You get 2 free parking passes."
Guest: "So how much is parking?"
Thats all I have for now. They are so stupid that they are hilarious haha! Shoot...you really wouldn't believe some of the people we deal with. I'm sortof glad I work the night usually nothing crazy happens except the occasional drunk person lol. Anyways thats it.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
good news
hey guess what????
Today marks the end of my month long drivers license suspension!!!!!!!! yay :)
I'm pretty excited that I dont have to worry about being sent to jail, or being fined or being labled an illegal immigrant or whatever they do when they catch you with a suspended drivers license? I dont even know?
I was so paranoid that I would get in some type of wreck or get caught with a tail light out or something stupid and then the cops would find out...that would have been no bueno....I felt like a fugitive on the run haha.
Oh well it has taught me a lesson...that it is possible to get from point A to point B without speeding...I just might have to leave a little earlier....and I'm getting really good at spotting cop cars and I know all their hiding places, yes mr cop that likes to hide in the car wash on main street I know what your up to.
Thanks for the all the people that didn't offer me any rides anywhere! Jk i didn't really tell anyone, its kindof impractical to rely on other people for transportation, especially since I go to work at 11 at night and come back at 7 in the morning and there are just times where you really have to take your own car lol what do they expect me to do?
Anyways thats all really....
Today marks the end of my month long drivers license suspension!!!!!!!! yay :)
I'm pretty excited that I dont have to worry about being sent to jail, or being fined or being labled an illegal immigrant or whatever they do when they catch you with a suspended drivers license? I dont even know?
I was so paranoid that I would get in some type of wreck or get caught with a tail light out or something stupid and then the cops would find out...that would have been no bueno....I felt like a fugitive on the run haha.
Oh well it has taught me a lesson...that it is possible to get from point A to point B without speeding...I just might have to leave a little earlier....and I'm getting really good at spotting cop cars and I know all their hiding places, yes mr cop that likes to hide in the car wash on main street I know what your up to.
Thanks for the all the people that didn't offer me any rides anywhere! Jk i didn't really tell anyone, its kindof impractical to rely on other people for transportation, especially since I go to work at 11 at night and come back at 7 in the morning and there are just times where you really have to take your own car lol what do they expect me to do?
Anyways thats all really....
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Christmas
I think its a touch bit too early to post a blog on Christmas but....oh well I can't help it
Actually I just wanted to say "a touch bit too early" in a sentence haha...
So Christmas..how wonderful is Christmas? It is the greatest of all the holidays and as far as a celebration of something goes it would be my favorite of anything on any type of calendar there is..I dont know if I can say it's my favorite time of year because I generally dislike the winter months but Christmas and winter and snow go hand in hand so its all wonderful really.
To me Christmas has changed so much from when I was a little kid. I no longer try and stay up all night to catch santa claus, and I no longer try and wake up as early as I can so I can be the first to see the presents. My thoughts are no longer full of what I'm going to be getting or what I would really like. I no longer think of Christmas as a holiday where I am able to get things for my own benefit.
Now Christmas is about me thinking of how to help others. Christmas is an oppurtunity for me to be able to show how I care about someone else, it's a chance for me to express my love and appreciation to anyone in any way that I can. Possibly my most favorite memory of a Christmas is when my family did a 12 days of Christmas for another family that was having a hard time. I remember every single night for 12 nights we left something on their door and rang the doorbell and left without them knowing it was us, we would watch them as they took whatever it was we left them and to see the smiles on their faces. It is really really great to know that you have been able to bring a smile to someones face by being unselfish and just giving a little bit of something to another person that can make them so happy, and in the end that is what makes you so happy yourself.
My ideas and thoughts have in fact completely switched as far as how I view Christmas. Once it was a holiday for myself, when really it's a holiday for everyone else. There's something a little magical about this time of year, something that needs to be recognized and shared with everyone else.
But I think the biggest difference that I've realized about Christmas is the meaning behind it. Once I never understood these meanings and the purpose, usually it's just viewed as a giant party. It actually means a lot more to me in terms of religion, and of how important it is to make someone else's life a bit brighter, and hopefully I can try and do that everyday, anywhere, anytime. Not just now.
And thats the meaning of Christmas for me. :)
Actually I just wanted to say "a touch bit too early" in a sentence haha...
So Christmas..how wonderful is Christmas? It is the greatest of all the holidays and as far as a celebration of something goes it would be my favorite of anything on any type of calendar there is..I dont know if I can say it's my favorite time of year because I generally dislike the winter months but Christmas and winter and snow go hand in hand so its all wonderful really.
To me Christmas has changed so much from when I was a little kid. I no longer try and stay up all night to catch santa claus, and I no longer try and wake up as early as I can so I can be the first to see the presents. My thoughts are no longer full of what I'm going to be getting or what I would really like. I no longer think of Christmas as a holiday where I am able to get things for my own benefit.
Now Christmas is about me thinking of how to help others. Christmas is an oppurtunity for me to be able to show how I care about someone else, it's a chance for me to express my love and appreciation to anyone in any way that I can. Possibly my most favorite memory of a Christmas is when my family did a 12 days of Christmas for another family that was having a hard time. I remember every single night for 12 nights we left something on their door and rang the doorbell and left without them knowing it was us, we would watch them as they took whatever it was we left them and to see the smiles on their faces. It is really really great to know that you have been able to bring a smile to someones face by being unselfish and just giving a little bit of something to another person that can make them so happy, and in the end that is what makes you so happy yourself.
My ideas and thoughts have in fact completely switched as far as how I view Christmas. Once it was a holiday for myself, when really it's a holiday for everyone else. There's something a little magical about this time of year, something that needs to be recognized and shared with everyone else.
But I think the biggest difference that I've realized about Christmas is the meaning behind it. Once I never understood these meanings and the purpose, usually it's just viewed as a giant party. It actually means a lot more to me in terms of religion, and of how important it is to make someone else's life a bit brighter, and hopefully I can try and do that everyday, anywhere, anytime. Not just now.
And thats the meaning of Christmas for me. :)
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
feeling lucky
So a moose tried to hit me tonight lol
Maybe its not snow I need to worry about but large immobile animals randomly placed in my way...
Tonight I was driving home up provo canyon and I was in the part where there are two lanes just before where the Heber Creeper bridge used to be and I was coming up over a hill so I couldn't see what was ahead of me and all of a sudden there was this HUGE moose standing right in the middle of my lane looking right at me. His shoulders were like 3 feet taller than the top of my car and it scared me really really bad lol. I slammed on my brakes and turned to the left at the same time which caused me to skid across the empty lane and towards the steel barrier on the far left side of the lane, so then I had to turn the steering wheel all the way to the right which then caused me to flip around and then I was facing the cars that were driving behind me and all this happened in like 5 seconds. Luckily the next car behind me was about 100 feet away from me, except I got to watch it hit the moose...which for some reason had never decided to move after seeing me almost wreck trying to avoid it...
I kindof felt like one of those "professional drivers" on those car commercials about driving in the rain or trying to dodge the orange cones lol. Imagine like the craziest 5 second roller coaster ride ever. I was shaking after. I'm pretty sure I left some crazy skid marks, I think they probably look like some type of backwards question mark...I kindof want to go back and see actually...
I feel pretty lucky that there was an empty lane next to me so that I could miss the moose, actually I feel pretty lucky that I even missed the moose it really must have only been inches and my car would not be pretty after hitting a moose, I'm also pretty lucky there wasn't much traffic with me, and I'm pretty lucky that I didn't over correct and flip over or go off the right side of the road which would have meant I would have been in the Provo River.
Basically I feel lucky and I was really freaked out for a while...
Thats all...
Maybe its not snow I need to worry about but large immobile animals randomly placed in my way...
Tonight I was driving home up provo canyon and I was in the part where there are two lanes just before where the Heber Creeper bridge used to be and I was coming up over a hill so I couldn't see what was ahead of me and all of a sudden there was this HUGE moose standing right in the middle of my lane looking right at me. His shoulders were like 3 feet taller than the top of my car and it scared me really really bad lol. I slammed on my brakes and turned to the left at the same time which caused me to skid across the empty lane and towards the steel barrier on the far left side of the lane, so then I had to turn the steering wheel all the way to the right which then caused me to flip around and then I was facing the cars that were driving behind me and all this happened in like 5 seconds. Luckily the next car behind me was about 100 feet away from me, except I got to watch it hit the moose...which for some reason had never decided to move after seeing me almost wreck trying to avoid it...
I kindof felt like one of those "professional drivers" on those car commercials about driving in the rain or trying to dodge the orange cones lol. Imagine like the craziest 5 second roller coaster ride ever. I was shaking after. I'm pretty sure I left some crazy skid marks, I think they probably look like some type of backwards question mark...I kindof want to go back and see actually...
I feel pretty lucky that there was an empty lane next to me so that I could miss the moose, actually I feel pretty lucky that I even missed the moose it really must have only been inches and my car would not be pretty after hitting a moose, I'm also pretty lucky there wasn't much traffic with me, and I'm pretty lucky that I didn't over correct and flip over or go off the right side of the road which would have meant I would have been in the Provo River.
Basically I feel lucky and I was really freaked out for a while...
Thats all...
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
another long blog of nothing
So I have decided I have a big problem with patience. I always want something right away instead of waiting for it to happen in the future. Even if I know that it will most likely happen in the future...I would rather have it right now so that I know I have it already, so that I can be 100% assured and not leave anything to chance. I hope that makes sense.
Maybe it's not so much of a patience thing as it is a fear of what will happen in the future. But its not like I'm afraid of the future because I always look forward to it and I think it's always exciting to see what will happen but sometimes I just don't really know what is going to happen in the future, I mean everyone has their own plan for the future and it's good to have a plan and I have my own plan but theres always an element of suprise or an unexpected twist. Of course these things are not always bad but don't you ever feel like you don't want any suprises or twists and you just want your plan to work the way you think it should?
So maybe I just have a fear of the unknown. I'm not really afraid or anything. Maybe it's just me being uncomfortable of the unknown. Maybe I just don't really know what it is lol. I've come to accept that life is all about change, but that doesn't mean that I always like it. I guess sometimes I just want things to stay the same until I can catch back up with the change. I feel like I've never been able to be comfortable long enough to take a breath before something unexpected happens.
I think that I may never really be completely satisfied with life, I mean very few people actually are anyways right? And if you are completley satisfied with life chances are you are overlooking something, unless your Jesus. I just try to do my best and do what makes me happy but every once in a while it feels like my best isn't quite going to cut it...and I guess at some point everyone's best doesnt quite cut it at something but it's sorta sad to discover that even when you try at something so hard maybe you just can't have it.
Well I just realized this blog is mostly about me asking questions to myself and then answering them....sort of...lol so maybe it was a pointless blog so what! Hannah already hogged my other topic and I think its too long to write about now...maybe it will make an appearance some other day.
I will leave you with a list of things that I think are absolutely essential to a happy life
They are not really in any order
1. My religion
2. The relationships/friendships I form with other people (includes family, friends, dogs, a deflated volleyball named wilson...anything like that)
3. A good conscience
4. Music
5. A positive attitude
6. A desire to do something
7. A willingness to learn
8. An open mind
9. The ability to recognize as well as learn from mistakes
10. Humor
This could be a big list but I like the number ten and I like those things if anyone disagrees then obviously they don't have as happy of a life as me and we will have to have a debate. :)
"There is nothing to fear except the persistent refusal to find out the truth, the persistent refusal to analyze the causes of happenings." -Dorothy Thompson
"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death." -Anais Nin
"If I had my life to live over, I'd dare to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax; I'd limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I'm one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after the other, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had it to do over again, I would travel lighter than I have.
If I had my life to live over again, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dance; I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies. "
-Nadine Stair
The End.
Maybe it's not so much of a patience thing as it is a fear of what will happen in the future. But its not like I'm afraid of the future because I always look forward to it and I think it's always exciting to see what will happen but sometimes I just don't really know what is going to happen in the future, I mean everyone has their own plan for the future and it's good to have a plan and I have my own plan but theres always an element of suprise or an unexpected twist. Of course these things are not always bad but don't you ever feel like you don't want any suprises or twists and you just want your plan to work the way you think it should?
So maybe I just have a fear of the unknown. I'm not really afraid or anything. Maybe it's just me being uncomfortable of the unknown. Maybe I just don't really know what it is lol. I've come to accept that life is all about change, but that doesn't mean that I always like it. I guess sometimes I just want things to stay the same until I can catch back up with the change. I feel like I've never been able to be comfortable long enough to take a breath before something unexpected happens.
I think that I may never really be completely satisfied with life, I mean very few people actually are anyways right? And if you are completley satisfied with life chances are you are overlooking something, unless your Jesus. I just try to do my best and do what makes me happy but every once in a while it feels like my best isn't quite going to cut it...and I guess at some point everyone's best doesnt quite cut it at something but it's sorta sad to discover that even when you try at something so hard maybe you just can't have it.
Well I just realized this blog is mostly about me asking questions to myself and then answering them....sort of...lol so maybe it was a pointless blog so what! Hannah already hogged my other topic and I think its too long to write about now...maybe it will make an appearance some other day.
I will leave you with a list of things that I think are absolutely essential to a happy life
They are not really in any order
1. My religion
2. The relationships/friendships I form with other people (includes family, friends, dogs, a deflated volleyball named wilson...anything like that)
3. A good conscience
4. Music
5. A positive attitude
6. A desire to do something
7. A willingness to learn
8. An open mind
9. The ability to recognize as well as learn from mistakes
10. Humor
This could be a big list but I like the number ten and I like those things if anyone disagrees then obviously they don't have as happy of a life as me and we will have to have a debate. :)
"There is nothing to fear except the persistent refusal to find out the truth, the persistent refusal to analyze the causes of happenings." -Dorothy Thompson
"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death." -Anais Nin
"If I had my life to live over, I'd dare to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax; I'd limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I'm one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after the other, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had it to do over again, I would travel lighter than I have.
If I had my life to live over again, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dance; I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies. "
-Nadine Stair
The End.
Monday, December 3, 2007
1/4th of a mid-life crisis
Hello dear blog readers of the universe
Well I am officially 20 years old now! It doesn't feel any different than 19 but it is a bit depressing to think that I am now halfway to 40 which means I'm halfway to being over the hill which means I'm just a 4th of the way to 80 and a 5th of a way to 100 :S *Sigh* that is depressing. Life does kindof go by pretty fast sometimes and it's true that you never really get any younger. Not that growing older is bad and I guess I'm not really old yet anyways so I dont know what I'm talking about maybe I'm going through a mid life crisis or should I say a 1/4th of a mid life crisis.
Sometimes I wish I lived in old biblical times where people regularly lived to like 823 years old and THEN they died of old age lol. But then I would probably be walking around in the wilderness and herding sheep for that long as well. Its true that the 3 people that I'm probably most jealous of ever are the 3 Nephites that were granted the ability to live until the end of the earth as well as eternal life. I think that would be really amazing. I often try to come up with ideas of where they are or who they are of if anyone has seen them lately lol. Do you think they've ever been through Heber? That would be pretty cool to know haha. I know the things I think about are kinda weird but I have a curious mind.
So I purposely didn't write about my birthday beforehand on here and I just sort of didn't tell anyone anyways because its just never been a big deal and I've just learned that no one really cares that much anyways.
Well I had 3 days off from work for my birthday which was kindof pointless because I did mostly nothing. It was nice that I didn't have to drive to work in the crazy snow storm or else I might not be living to write this pointless blog. It's nice to have work off but sometimes I guess I would just rather work because it gives me something to do and keeps me preoccupied and life is the best when your busy. (For the most part) Well I am applying at UVSC right now and I think I should get accepted but thats just what I think lol. If I do then I will probably try and find some way to move down there or maybe my financial aid can cover the cost of some type of school housing which would be nice so I dont have to focus as much on trying to earn money while trying to go to school. So I dont know but I'm looking forward to it because it will be a change, a good change and it will keep me busy and I'll feel like I'm accomplishing things.
Well I have thought of a new list to include and its a pretty rad list and of course it has to do with music :)
Whats better than a good song? A good video to go along with it!
My Top Ten Music Videos - at the moment
10. Beck- E Pro
I had to put this one on the list just because its so bizarre and abstract but its funny and maybe if you think really hard there is a lesson to be learned from it or maybe Beck was just on drugs. Either way its entertaining.
Favorite scene: When he starts running away from the weird monster thing haha he just looks retarded.
9. Eve 6-Inside Out
Sometimes I feel like the only place its raining is right above me and everyone is just staring at me from the outside.
Favorite scene: When he yells at the girl and she blows away
8. Barenaked Ladies- Pinch Me
This is just an amusing video. It kind of reminds me of when I used to work in restraunts. Sometimes life feels like your just going through the motions and everything is the same. A bit like how a fast food place can symbolize societies demand for things as fast as possible because everyone is in a hurry they dont have time to stop and wait and because of this they get crappy food that makes them fat. In between all the hurry and worry sometimes you need to stop and be original and create your own joy and just have fun. I really like the enthusiastic facial expressions and thumbs ups haha.
Favorite scene: When he falls into a huge pile of hamburger buns, which for some reason sounds really fun
7. Goo Goo Dolls- Broadway
Another video that speaks to the nature of society. All of these hard working blue collar men just want to be able to have a chance to be someone different and someone famous but it turns out being that new person is not who you really are and its not always that great.
Favorite scene: When the band sits down to eat lunch...or when the construction workers are dancing- see 2:51-2:57
6. Barenaked Ladies- If I Had A Million Dollars
I just like that this is actually not a video at all but a slideshow that just makes me laugh for no particular reason. "If I had a million dollars we wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner, of course we would we'd just eat more and buy really expensive ketchups thats right all the fanciest dijon ketchups!" haha
Favorite scene: When the show the "nice reliable car"
5. Weezer- Island in the Sun
It would have been pretty fun to shoot this video with them. How could you not love being around all the baby animals?
Favorite scene: Any with the monkey in it
4. Jet-Shine On
I always like it when there are historical clips from the past. This song is a mixture of good things and bad things happening at once and in the end the bad things cannot prevail.
Favorite scene: The man and the tanks at Tiananmen Square
3. Lifehouse- From Where You Are
This video reminds me of all the good road trips and car rides I've had. It's just a nice video and a nice song with good memories.
Favorite scene: Probably the mustang or when the kids are rocking out and then the next minute they're dead asleep because thats pretty much how we live sometimes
2. Coldplay- Yellow
I can't even really explain to you why I like this music video because basically its the simplest video ever but its a really simple song and you can see the emotion on his face as he sings it and a song with emotion attatched to it is amazing and somehow its just wonderful.
Favorite scene: umm well its all sorta the same scene lol
1. Coldplay- The Scientist
It's a great video because its all filmed backwards and it's much more powerful backwards than it would be forwards which is odd. Haven't you ever wanted to go back and re-do something that occured to you or something that you caused to happen to someone else? Have you ever thought about how your life would have played out if you did change course, would things be different for you now if you changed something before, and if you knew how things would have changed would you have really changed them in the first place?
Favorite scene: when he is in the forest at night and the leaves are floating up
Wow that was a fantastically long blog I have a bad habit of making them huge. I apologize lol. Well I think that is enough for now :)
Well I am officially 20 years old now! It doesn't feel any different than 19 but it is a bit depressing to think that I am now halfway to 40 which means I'm halfway to being over the hill which means I'm just a 4th of the way to 80 and a 5th of a way to 100 :S *Sigh* that is depressing. Life does kindof go by pretty fast sometimes and it's true that you never really get any younger. Not that growing older is bad and I guess I'm not really old yet anyways so I dont know what I'm talking about maybe I'm going through a mid life crisis or should I say a 1/4th of a mid life crisis.
Sometimes I wish I lived in old biblical times where people regularly lived to like 823 years old and THEN they died of old age lol. But then I would probably be walking around in the wilderness and herding sheep for that long as well. Its true that the 3 people that I'm probably most jealous of ever are the 3 Nephites that were granted the ability to live until the end of the earth as well as eternal life. I think that would be really amazing. I often try to come up with ideas of where they are or who they are of if anyone has seen them lately lol. Do you think they've ever been through Heber? That would be pretty cool to know haha. I know the things I think about are kinda weird but I have a curious mind.
So I purposely didn't write about my birthday beforehand on here and I just sort of didn't tell anyone anyways because its just never been a big deal and I've just learned that no one really cares that much anyways.
Well I had 3 days off from work for my birthday which was kindof pointless because I did mostly nothing. It was nice that I didn't have to drive to work in the crazy snow storm or else I might not be living to write this pointless blog. It's nice to have work off but sometimes I guess I would just rather work because it gives me something to do and keeps me preoccupied and life is the best when your busy. (For the most part) Well I am applying at UVSC right now and I think I should get accepted but thats just what I think lol. If I do then I will probably try and find some way to move down there or maybe my financial aid can cover the cost of some type of school housing which would be nice so I dont have to focus as much on trying to earn money while trying to go to school. So I dont know but I'm looking forward to it because it will be a change, a good change and it will keep me busy and I'll feel like I'm accomplishing things.
Well I have thought of a new list to include and its a pretty rad list and of course it has to do with music :)
Whats better than a good song? A good video to go along with it!
My Top Ten Music Videos - at the moment
10. Beck- E Pro
I had to put this one on the list just because its so bizarre and abstract but its funny and maybe if you think really hard there is a lesson to be learned from it or maybe Beck was just on drugs. Either way its entertaining.
Favorite scene: When he starts running away from the weird monster thing haha he just looks retarded.
9. Eve 6-Inside Out
Sometimes I feel like the only place its raining is right above me and everyone is just staring at me from the outside.
Favorite scene: When he yells at the girl and she blows away
8. Barenaked Ladies- Pinch Me
This is just an amusing video. It kind of reminds me of when I used to work in restraunts. Sometimes life feels like your just going through the motions and everything is the same. A bit like how a fast food place can symbolize societies demand for things as fast as possible because everyone is in a hurry they dont have time to stop and wait and because of this they get crappy food that makes them fat. In between all the hurry and worry sometimes you need to stop and be original and create your own joy and just have fun. I really like the enthusiastic facial expressions and thumbs ups haha.
Favorite scene: When he falls into a huge pile of hamburger buns, which for some reason sounds really fun
7. Goo Goo Dolls- Broadway
Another video that speaks to the nature of society. All of these hard working blue collar men just want to be able to have a chance to be someone different and someone famous but it turns out being that new person is not who you really are and its not always that great.
Favorite scene: When the band sits down to eat lunch...or when the construction workers are dancing- see 2:51-2:57
6. Barenaked Ladies- If I Had A Million Dollars
I just like that this is actually not a video at all but a slideshow that just makes me laugh for no particular reason. "If I had a million dollars we wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner, of course we would we'd just eat more and buy really expensive ketchups thats right all the fanciest dijon ketchups!" haha
Favorite scene: When the show the "nice reliable car"
5. Weezer- Island in the Sun
It would have been pretty fun to shoot this video with them. How could you not love being around all the baby animals?
Favorite scene: Any with the monkey in it
4. Jet-Shine On
I always like it when there are historical clips from the past. This song is a mixture of good things and bad things happening at once and in the end the bad things cannot prevail.
Favorite scene: The man and the tanks at Tiananmen Square
3. Lifehouse- From Where You Are
This video reminds me of all the good road trips and car rides I've had. It's just a nice video and a nice song with good memories.
Favorite scene: Probably the mustang or when the kids are rocking out and then the next minute they're dead asleep because thats pretty much how we live sometimes
2. Coldplay- Yellow
I can't even really explain to you why I like this music video because basically its the simplest video ever but its a really simple song and you can see the emotion on his face as he sings it and a song with emotion attatched to it is amazing and somehow its just wonderful.
Favorite scene: umm well its all sorta the same scene lol
1. Coldplay- The Scientist
It's a great video because its all filmed backwards and it's much more powerful backwards than it would be forwards which is odd. Haven't you ever wanted to go back and re-do something that occured to you or something that you caused to happen to someone else? Have you ever thought about how your life would have played out if you did change course, would things be different for you now if you changed something before, and if you knew how things would have changed would you have really changed them in the first place?
Favorite scene: when he is in the forest at night and the leaves are floating up
Wow that was a fantastically long blog I have a bad habit of making them huge. I apologize lol. Well I think that is enough for now :)
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