The Will

Me and Tyler were talking once upon a time and decided we would both post our life wills on our blog pages just in case if we ever died abrubtly we would have some kind of lasting direction for the ones that we have left behind. As it would be quite weird to walk into a lawyers office and declare that you would like to write up a will right now I think my blog page is the best place to put it. Even though I believe that none of my family members even recognize that I have a blog page. (Neither does anyone else for that matter) But maybe it will come up as they will undoubtedly search through every single personal piece of matter that belonged to me when I abrubtly die. Anyways Im sure I will not be able to write every single thing in one sitting so as new things come to mind I will add additional ammendments to the will so all you faithful readers out there please check back every once in a while to make sure you have read it all! Anyways here goes..these are in no particular order of importance.

First and foremost I would like to express my gratitude for all those who have touched my life in any way that was beneficial...and even those ones that weren't because even bad things are beneficial at some point. I am sorry that I am dead and that I am not able to tell you how thankful I am in person. I am sure my memories of you will last an eternity.

Second and secondmost I would like my body buried in an unmarked grave in perhaps the most peaceful and untouched spot around.

Third and thirdmost I would like to leave my blog url to any biological heirs that I have reproduced. If I have not yet been able to experience the subliminal feeling of reproduction then I will leave it to no one.

Fourth and fourthmost let my wife know that I am dead and have passed on to a better way of life and that I will be waiting for her when she too takes her own checkered flag. Let her know that I may be flirting with other girls so she better hurry up and I could possibly be owning my own pet store somewhere up there. If she already knows that I am dead then disregard the aforementioned material and simply tell her Hi.

Fifth and fifthmost please continue on the tradition of Friday Night Bowling at exactly the same time it was always at whether that was 7:00, 7:30, or 8:00 I dont really know. If by chance Tyler happens to get a strike that results in a free game he must pound his chest with his fist and then point to the heavens.

Sixth and sixthmost someone must take care of Darvy even though his reputation as a very stupid dog has a bit of truth to it he is quite loving and ever faithful. If no one can take him then maybe you can set up his electrical fence around my unmarked grave and leave him with me in the silence of our own intertwined and divinely touched lives.

Seventh and seventhmost please call back all the army recruiters that are sill trying to get a hold of me and tell them that they can finally stop trying to get ahold of me. If they need extra condolence maybe you can tell them that I have enlisted in the Army of Heaven as a tank mechanic and that I am thoroughly enjoying the many benefits and free college tuition that I am recieving from that branch of the Army.

Eighth and eighth most someone will undoubtedly have to fill in for me at my job over at the wagon wheel...even though thats not it anymore thats what it will always be to me. I dont think that I'll ever be able to leave that place though try as I might. So basically whoever is elected to fill in for me must stay there for the rest of their lives. Unless I was in the position of owning the place then it can be imploded and made into a nice little garden.

Ninth and ninthmost someone should please see to it that everything on the Life List is crossed off in my name. That includes encouraging Dylon and Tyler not to slouch on such things of importance, and that new exciting things are occasionally added to keep up with the spirit of it all.

--I have decided to stop with the whole next number by next numbermost thing instead I will just put 10.- Someone must continue on with that great saga of a poem that I have created. I would prefer somebody who has a good ability to create a nice flowing poem and that actually knows how to ryhm because even though dark and shark might ryhm they probably wont fit into my poem very well. Advise them to go ahead and make it as long as it needs to be seeing as how I have already done that.

11. There are a few things I would like to be buried with, 1. I'd like to be buried with love. 2. Some clothes please 3. With people there...besides the gravediggers 4. some fuzzy dice hanging from the roof of my casket. 4. My graduation class ring. 5. My laptop so that I can continue on with my blogs after I have reached the other side. 6. a copy of the poem Death be not Proud. 7. I would like someone in the crowd to suddenly raise their voice to the heavens and sing amazing grace and the whole crowd will tune in and at the end everyone will burst into tears and later exclaim it was the greatest burial moment they could ever recall. 8. Each one of my good friends will have a special item assigned to them to come up and lay by my side. Tyler will have my High School graduation ring because he always seemed to be sitting right next to me throughout high school. Dylon can have a football or basketball or golf ball or he can bring along my dog which used to be his or something because we both thoroughly enjoy playing sports with or against each other. Billy can give me a purple heart he stole from the Army wharehouse...just because he can and I'm sure I earned a purple heart somewhere along the line. Mercedes should bring me my pink fuzzy dice that she gave me once upon a time and maybe she could even kiss me...once or twice...