take it back to the start and through the rise and falling apart we discover who we are

Hello fellow blog readers.

Today I decided to go back to church for the first time in a really long time actually. Too long of a time really. It was really really refreshing it sorta felt like I had been drowning but I was finally allowed to breath again, that sort of refreshing thank goodness feeling lol. I dont really know why I stopped going to church in the first place, well I guess there are a few small reasons but those reason shouldn't of been that big of a deal anyways. I have no family that goes to church with me so I go by myself which for me is probably the hardest part along with the fact that I hardly know anyone in my ward and I sat by my former bishop and his wife for sacrament and ms. carlile for sunday school how weird is that? And sunday school is just weird too because the average age is probably about 45 or 50 and I still feel like I should go to primary or something like that lol. Oh well I still enjoyed it and it makes me happy so I know its the right thing.

So I guess I've learned a lot about myself. Basically I can say I've experienced life without the church and life with the church. Without the church life really does feel like your drowning...very slowly almost to the point you dont even know you are and then you take a look back and it can be painful to realize how far away from the church you are. Or basically anything that applies to this idea. When you take something you love and substitute it for many other things that are a bit like false happiness and those many other things dont even fill up that one thing that you took away. It definitely leaves a void that sometimes you try and overlook. I think I have learned that its somewhat impossible for me to be content and truly happy if I start to neglect the things I care about the most. Sometimes it's hard to recognize when you may be getting ahead of yourself or you may have lost something, it's just much easier to keep a tight grip on the values that you have. This definitely makes life a lot easier.